Even Gareth the cannibal would come out looking better than Bristol if you'd compare them.

Chelsea Clinton would never be in the position that Bristol was in. I can't imagine Chelsea Clinton as a belligerent drunk.

This is going to make me sound like an old lady, but how is Drake a thing? I don't get his music at all. I don't think I've ever liked one of his songs.

Halloween: When self-proclaimed non-racists show they are actually racists.

I work at a bank. In a rural area in Ohio. And it sucks ass. If you are not a VP, you don't make shit. I've spent a lot of time talking with a lot of the VPs as to what I could do to work my way back up from when I lost my job in 2008 (fuck you AIG). I am working for $15 per hour with a Bachelor's degree in Finance at…

Although I am weird and boring for loving chicken noodles soups, this is definitely the best rankings post I've read by far. Laughing the whole way through.

I think they may get an A+ in creative writing. It's almost like science fiction...without the science.

Yeah, there are so many of them. I live in Ohio and Ohio would be pretty awesome if all the Reaganites moved South.

1. The fact that people literally think like this in 2014 scares the ever living fuck out of me.

And this shit is what they want to teach in schools.

Holy shit. That is the scariest story I've ever heard. Thank goodness you have roommates because I would hate knowing these people knew where I lived.

You guys can secede, but only if you take Mississippi.

You win the internet today. Perfection.

So, that's what "time is a flat circle" means!

It what universe did the Britney and Madonna kiss look spontaneous?

At first I thought you were talking about Amish people. That's what everyone called the Amish (I live in Central Ohio) when I was growing up. I had to google to realize that many different groups of people can be called boofers.

I always appreciated it when I served.

That is mesmerizing.

Ahhh, the tomayto/tomahto of butts.

Sweet jesus, that is disturbing...and looks rather uncomfortable.