That she found a much older man isn’t the story here. It’s that the much older man happens to be Jon Lovitz. And that they teased out the big reveal over several meticulously crafted Instagram posts.

@Demi: They look pretty good.

@Guillermo: One of the worst feelings is when you’re the one who picked the movie and everybody is obviously hating it. Sighing and squirming and giving you in the dark side eye.

All I want is organic free range ecstasy, is that too much to ask?

What the fuck happened to VH1? I so miss Flavor of Love, Charm School, I Love Money...all their great trainwrecks. I like Love & Hip Hop but it doesn’t come close to the greatness that was classic VH1.

I love Wolf at the Door. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was at least 11. I’ve been as far down as an attempted suicide to having no depressive/anxious feelings for months. It has come and gone in waves, and every time it’s here it feels like that wolf outside of my door, but even when it’s gone I…

So, this...

Dear Bride,

Thank you for making me feel better about being a total basket case the past month. I just moved to a new city and started a new job and our house is in disarray because it needs renovations and it rained for two weeks straight and I felt like I was completely coming off the rails. Husband very sweetly and calmly…

Depression; paranoia; low self-esteem; insecurity; resentment; anger; fear; jealousy; envy; distrust; guilt; shame; isolation.

The entire obituary is worth reading in full:

This place is real and near where I grew up. It is EXACTLY what you hope it is. 2006 has never left the Chicago suburbs.

Yes. I personally have segued into a “black jean leggings and fashion sneakers every day” era

I love you!! LOL

One of my best friends and I have what we call “Real Housewives Lunch” every few months - where we go somewhere fancy and order a salad wearing our fanciest jewel toned silk top and all of the jewelry we can fit on our bodies. Always a good time. Thank you for providing so much inspiration here for our next outing.

i know that good feminism means not making fun of other womens’ appearances, but

...good for blowing your load AND loading your blow.

she has pipes, thats all i am going to say.