I fucking love The Lonely Island. Top five songs:

And... this is exactly why I can’t hate on her. You go Kim.

I love this. Unexpectedly, I think I love her too? I’ve never watched her show, I won’t buy her app, but I get THIS. I wish I felt as comfortable and confident in my skin as she seems to. I admire her willingness to be herself, no matter what. Sure, she’s silly and ridiculous, but she’s got some serious hustle and she…

But did his mom get her body back? Did she????

I hate humans. If I ever come across a plan of animals plotting to take over the planet and keep humans as lab projects, I wouldn’t tell.

Hippo facts:

I’m biased, but yes. It’s legit hilarious. Watch some of the music videos on YouTube.

Yanno what girl group needs to come back?

This is gonna sound insensitive but I honestly have NO desire or wish for all these reboots. Gilmore Girls, Full House, X files...the talk of Friends. There is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much good TV out there to waste time on what Emma is doing in college. Who the fuck cares?

I’d say it’s 2016 and you’d have to be really fucking technologically dumb to not realize who you were sending that text to. On the other hand, it’s 2016 and tons of people out there are still really fucking dumb.

TMZ had a Tweet during the Oscars that said something along the lines of nannies don’t look as hot as Jennifer Garner tonight.

It kind of reminds me about that article on Jezebel about how people who are insecure in their relationships are most likely to brag on Facebook. Her narrative of what happened, combined with the fact that he felt he needed to record the conversation, makes me wonder if there is a cheating history there.

Between this odd story and the Ben Affleck nanny situation, I feel bad for actual nannies. I feel like more often than not, they are dealing with advances from their employer rather than coming onto the employer.

This is a massive over-share, in my opinion. Why does the world need to know this level of detail about why you fired your nanny? This has a my-husband-is-hot-and-would-never-cheat-on-me-let-me-show-the-world-proof vibe.

“mommy bloggers” are the worst. Maybe I should start my “filled with anxiety, broke, single 30-something woman” blog.

My old awful boss was trying so hard to get one of her minions on this show as a permanent member. She (awful old boss) and the minion are “friends” with half these women. Minion was on the show off and on for the 2013-2014 season. She’s not very bright and didn’t have much bite. Awful boss kept trying to get Minion…

Right? What a self-serving explanation of why people can’t stand you. “People say I’m not black enough” is Stacey Dash’s version of “those other kids at school don’t like me because I’m smarter than them.”

She also sang Metric’s Black Sheep for The Clash At Demonhead’s performance in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: