you are an American hero

Jesus Christ Fairfax is my idea of hell.

Do you want a cookie?

So you’re a douchebag, is what you're telling me.

This. I started a new job last week and was in a meeting where my boss asked for my opinion. I made the mistake of giving it, and it contradicted one of the veteran employees, who now hates me. She's a rude bitch and is retiring soon anyhow, but still.

You must not live in a place where you have to walk more than 100 feet to your office.

The creators literally made them for kids with disabilities to feel included. Changing the headline would misrepresent their original intention.

Thanks for commenting to remind everyone how cool and aloof you are!

Guess what: generations span a fairly long timeframe, so some Millennials are teenagers. Calm down.

Yeah, he should write a boo—oh, wait.

Considering that they usually handle attention like a starving man who finds some grubs under a rock, yeah, your statement doesn't make sense.

There's an entire TV show on A&E called Parking Wars that is essentially people bitching about the fact that they got caught illegally parking. Sure, sometimes tickets are in error, but usually not.

Wrath of Krill

Doubtful, unless the defense puts him on the stand.

Subtle, subtle lies.

Oh my godddddddd just type it normally

Shailene Woodley uses beat juice as lipstick

Now that is a #hottake

Never mind that SNAP benefits are a finite amount per household per month; people using their benefits to buy crab legs or whatever (who I assume don’t actually exist outside this guy’s mind) then probably don’t eat for the rest of the month.

It’s inherited in humans. I don’t know too much more about it, but while humans can contract a prion disease from eating infected meat, it's nearly always the case that anyone with one of these diseases has inherited it. It actually seems like the Wikipedia article on Prion diseases has some answers to your questions,…