The one close to me only does referrals, but it’s still a comfort, knowing it’s there. I have an implant, but it still takes weight off my chest to know that if it failed, I would have options.

Shapiro’s is fucking amazing. I’m glad I’m nowhere near it right now, but oh my god. Look at how much meat they put on your sandwich! And the cheesecake is twice that size! Oy gevalt so good!

Zac’s food does look delicious but virtually no carbs

Ryan, your life is just like that show except for the fact that it’s nothing like it at all.

I have really got to tell Beatrix T. Cattenborough about this. She has been very recalcitrant re: learning to do tricks. Maybe if she feels competitive?

I NEED 2016 TO SIT THE FUCK DOWN

FUCK EVERYTHING

Not to mention, who will replace him?

Truth? Sometimes I look at Camilla and Charles and can’t help but think about that leaked convo where he said he wished he was her tampon. Then I cringe forever.

your camilla’s lovely, hubbell

I saw a guy in Trader Joe’s, Sunday morning at 9am (yes, I am a noted square) with a fucking gun on the belt of his sweatpants. Trader Joe’s, where I live, at that time, is pretty much empty, and he looked like he rolled out of bed otherwise.

Ryan Lochte, Sex Idiot.

I even remember when she was a pretty good actress.

BUT WHAT DOES KYLIE THINK?

And the scary trigger word was ‘Shahid’ - a word that until now I only knew as the name of my colleague.

Related:

Every time I smell lingering cologne, I want to post a public service announcement - only people that are close enough to hug you should be able to smell you.

iCloud has led to so many cheaters getting busted.