I wonder if she listens to William Joel.

Your friendly neighborhood pedant here! Are millennials really a “growing” population? If we are 15-years-old at minimum, then no other millennials are being born; the club is closed. Really, we’re a shrinking population because people die all the time.

So many shades of brunette!

I watched Jurassic Park last Friday and came away with a few really important takeaways:

french macarons! And as a little surprise the restaurant passed them out as macaron ice cream sandwiches. Yeah, it was incredible.

My friend got married on 3/14/15 and served pies! It was absolute chaos in the kitchen but people enjoyed it.

I also made her a cake - but of course I baked an apple and cherry pie into the two layers of the top cake tier. You know, apple of my eye and poppin’ cherries... ;)

Gratuitous picture sharing commences.

Voodoo Doughnuts, because fuck cake.

Listen, lady. There are only so many questions I can dream up for this series. STOP POPPING YOUR OWN AND MAKING MY JOB HARDER.

The Furminator really does work well. However, I’ve given up to brushing only semi-regularly because A) my cats are obsessive groomers anyway and B) I still get piles of hair everywhere regardless of the combing schedule.

Well, pro-life literally means “forced birth”, so it seems likely that they’d think the opposition was equally hard-core in the opposite direction.

True story. My sister once raised money to save the Brazilian Rain Forest despite the fact that she’s not, in fact, a marmoset.

I’m a crazy person who spends way too much of my income on my stupid cats, so I have an enormous cat carrier (and by cat carrier, I mean that it’s for a medium-sized dog, and all three cats can fit in it comfortably). Whenever people at the vet look at me like I’m crazy for having a 10-pound cat in a giant crate, I’m…

“during a fit of extreme emotional vulnerability”

These are all horrifying. My big sis is currently designing my invites SHE BETTER NOT SCREW IT UP. Just kidding, even if she did it wouldn't be a big deal, it's just for the reception (we are getting hitched in the UK) so as long as it has the date and my 2 cats on it we're good.

My sister, who got married in the early 90s, went mauve too. And had a catered barbecue dinner. I'm sure that was a hoot with her white bridal gown on. She also scheduled the wedding at a park, but omitted the name of the park from the invitations. There were like four parks in that town (it was a small suburb near…

A few years ago some dear friends were getting married and I was their graphic designer - it was so much fun (really!) getting to do that, and they were super into having everything be branded for the wedding. We had strict graphic standards for the event.

A friend did that in her invitations. The wedding themed glitter had followed us through TWO house moves. I swear that shit is magic.

See sometimes I get sad my wedding is going to be so small because neither me nor my fiancee have extended family that would want to come to our wedding because we're gay... but then I'm also okay with it because I have basically NO family pressure, and it's going to be SOOO much cheaper. Every cloud has a silver…

This didn't happen to me exactly, but it's still pretty awesome. So my aunt was getting married (c.1982), a few years before I existed, and her wedding color was a light mauve. She picked out nice mauve invitations with dark text which were surprisingly elegant considering it was the early 80s. She gave them to her…

My ex's crazy douchebag hipster friends included a not so subtle "make checks payable to..." Line at the bottom of their invite. Oh, and it was a destination wedding to a remote location with only one option for lodging (which was owned by the brides family) that was like a summer camp cabin, and we all had to pay to…