Yeah, and if you throw out all test scores from the poorest school districts, our education would be higher rated too.

The stupid is strong in this one.

Elite Kinja.

I see a lot of people with their clothes on, and they’re kind of a—holes,” she added.

Petunia,

I loooooove that there is a teeny, tiny punctuation difference between “sex” and “festival!” Sometimes you have both at once!

It’s meant to be the genitive case, not the genital case.

As a bi lady, my blow jobs are only part-time.

True story: my mom is a heavily tattooed, extremely liberal creative type with pink hair. My sister rebelled by declaring herself a republican and joining a church group. (Which was a phase, thank goodness.)

I am happy to be the world’s teenboy.

full disclosure I give pretty mediocre blow jobs.

There has to be an equivalent “Assorted White Tears” gif for whiny Pats fans.

Like Zowie “Duncan Jones” Bowie?

Did she come with a gift receipt? Where do you go to return your Kris Jenner?

I’m sorry but language is a fixed point that peaked in England circa late 1800’s and should never be changed.

We could just combine the Urban and Oxford dictionaries and call it a day.

Here you go!

penalty kick

Alaska is where I had the bear sighting that will forever ruin all bear sightings. Mother and two cubs catching fish in front of a waterfall during a gentle rain that eventually cleared and cast a fucking RAINBOW OVER THE BEARS.*