While chanting "Russia is our friend!"

THERE ARE NO KURIL ISLANDS THERE IS ONLY ZUUL RUSSIA.

Hey, it's good to have a backup in case Trump accidentally sat on his own listening device during the Comey meetings.

Jeff Sessions: "Too high you say? …can he see my pot o'gold from up there? Also, kill the dog. Because of the too high thing. I'm terrible. There is no punchline. I'm just human garbage."

Meet at fucking Mar-a-lago, he'd rather be staying there anyway. He could charge them entry money and boast about how he "made the Russians pay" or whatever, and his base would have swallowed it 100%.

I'm sure Ivanka has snuffed out the life of at least one mammal with her bare hands while coldly smiling. Maybe the family pet, maybe a hobo, maybe her hideous twin in the attic…

I think that tweet was mostly in response to all the people who wrongly stated that Nixon also fired the FBI director. It may be hair-splitting to point it out as a mistake, but it's also perfectly reasonable for the Nixon library to correct a widely believed factual inaccuracy about Nixon, and if the word "facts"…

Yeah, that's some good news. North Korea even sent out a press release before the election, urging South Koreans to not vote for the conservative candidate, so obviously all the talk about war has gotten to them. Maybe now that the candidate who ran on a platform of diplomacy has won, they're more willing to negotiate…

I'm sure their courtship was super romantic. He - a rich widower in love with an exotic beauty, she - a 14 year-old girl who is his property… it basically writes itself.

Do you think Trump even knows there is a CIA?

FUN FACT: Jefferson didn't have any black friends either, just slaves he worked to death or raped! #Jeffersonian

This is gonna tear Graham and McCain apart!!! :(

The Nixon Library tweeted a nice burn after Comey's firing:
"FUN FACT: President Nixon never fired the Director of the FBI #FBIDirector #notNixonian" and then spent 2 hours explaining to the angry maga trolls that Nixon only fired the special prosecutor, not the FBI director ("People tagging us and misstating history…

Dustin Marshall doesn't have a sense of humor.

Meds cause autism, you shouldn't be taking those anyway. Have you tried living a good life, doing the right things, and accepting Jesus as you Lord and Saviour?

Oh stop complaining, if your heart gives out and you collapse on the bathroom floor, you can always claw your way across town to the emergency room where, after waiting 10 hours in line with thousands of other people who don't have insurance, you will receive aspirin from an overworked nurse who doesn't know your…

A dead rat that still has an "I'm With Her" logo on its twitter.
FEUD!!!!

D:

Sigh… they're definitely gonna let Booker run against Trump in 2020, aren't they?