Not whiter, though.

Dane Cook has the “huuuuuuuge personality” of a huuuuuuuge blob of half-dried Veganaise. To call his “jokes” something as complimentary as “ok” is an extreme stretch.

“I love all sorts of fruit, from apples to pears".

“everything from Ariana Grande to the Chainsmokers” is like saying “everything in the alphabet from A to B”

She’s Awesome

When I lived in New York, I was invited to a Halloween party that was happening after I got off work in the UES. I was having a pretty shitty day and not sure if I could handle going to a party. My friend coerced me into going and gave me a fake mustache as a costume. I was already wearing a red and white baseball…

I’m just so disappointed that this article didn’t begin “Avril Lavigne isn’t dead--she’s born again.” It was RIGHT THERE! 

Wilson is clearly a piece of shit and 20 games is about right, but the bigger surprise of the day is that this is Deadspin’s 4th hockey post today!

He’s retiring from office and has gone on record as being anti-trump. There was no reason to endorse Kavanaugh. None.

Colin Jost got lapped!

Somebody tell me again how it’s The Gays that will ruin the sanctity of marriage?

Would you really dump the love of your life, perfect for you in every way, because their genitals were not perfectly suited to your tastes?

This was the correct ending to Bridges of Madison County.

Wrong wrong wrong. I mean... c’mon,just look at him. Oh, can we please remove Pratt from the list? He’s meh at best.

There’s a straaaaw maaaan waiting in the sky

I’d settle for a show about C.J. Gregg and her new mission to get the maps of the world displayed upside down.

If his performance in bed is anything like her music,then they’re both awful and a complete waste of time, but at least they’ll be over in 3 minutes.

Okay. I’m sure 12 hours of forced sensitivity training will have a huge impact on people who have consistently been rewarded and promoted for being bigoted assholes.

EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH HAYWIRE WITH GINA CARANO. She is a total badass MMA fighter and her fight scenes were incredible.

This will forever be peak Dafoe as far as I’m concerned: