This needs so many stars. 

Intially, I gave him a window of like 9 pm to 1 am for the security cameras to be on the safe side. He kept asking me to try to narrow that down so he didn’t have to go through as much of it. Ultimately, he told me there just wasn’t enough light to see anything because the front of the building just isn’t that well…

HAH! Maybe you can write the world’s shortest horror movie and win an Oscar in the short films category.

...I feel JUDGED. LOL.

My mom has talked about my grandpa going to Elks Lodge when she was a kid! THIS IS TOO WEIRD. What do they even do there? I don’t remember anyone telling me lol.

Thank you! Apparently I’m the dumb person who dies first in a scary movie. I now realize somebody clearly was in my apartment, but initially I was like “Dude, I lose stuff all the time and this room is a ridiculous mess. How could you really remember where I throw everything in this shit pile where you KNOW something…

YES. GOOGLE IT. SEARCH JEZEBEL PUMPKIN SEED!

He got you. Hahahaha.

...lmfao what is WRONG WITH YOOOOU. WHY?

Doesn’t this mean you are also basic

I enjoyed the original comment and this one. Lol.

Damn, I made a lot of typos. I got a new phone and I’m not used to the keypad. Sorry gang!

“apparently all they needed was potato salad and badminton to summon the spirit”

“Schmutz Saturday" omfg I'm crying

I haven’t seen that movie in like 10 years and I’m mad as Hell all over again he gave her a fucking CD and gave the mistress some nice jewelry. Cheap prick! At least get something nice for you wife too. >:-{

Lol, yeah, it’s just not that deep and actually typing it out makes it seem even sillier. Beyonce type fans are frightening. Never be a Beyonce type fan! You don’t really KNOW any of these people!

I got into a fight with my boyfriend one night. For some reason we left my apartment to go to his new place we were both moving into even though there wasn’t any furniture in it it. We argued more and boned on the floor and argued more and then decided we should go back to my place so we could sleep in a bed. We were…

Lmfao this should win

Same. Ewwwww. Wtf.

Please change that picture. No no no no NO.