#NotAllMassholes

My city has declared itself a sanctuary city. I’m a homeowner. I’m willing to pay a higher tax rate to support that. I’m a socialist; so, shoot me. (Oh wait. They will one day)

It’s pretty common for the age (I’m a former daycare teacher and I worked with that age for many, many years), but usually preschoolers are satisfied with the simple answers (“mommy and daddy put it in together” as you said) at that age.

Play-dough, obviously. Yarn for the hair. It’s not rocket science.

While I was definitely a few years older, I was similarly direct with my parents. We had a collection of books from the Time/Life Science Library (which I had begged for in lieu of birthday/Christmas presents) and I searched through them inside and out, trying to figure out how the sperm cell got to the egg.

This is a perfect age-appropriate answer.

YESSS THIS IS THE FEEDBACK I WAS LOOKING FOR.

At 3 and half he’s asking that?

Mainly we’re sad and scared for you.

Is anybody else worried that eventually, this wall is going to be used to keep us here?

Yes, we discussed it at dinner time and we’ve decided to plant a hedge...

In the evening, do you guys just gather on the collective Canadian porch and look over at what junk cars, racist signs, unattractive lawn ornaments, and snarling dogs we’ve added during the course of the day?

BUT HER EMAILS! Right Bernie Bros and Stein-heads. You can all go burn in hell for the part you played in making this nightmare a reality, fuck all of you.

Quit it. We aren’t your fucking plan B.

Also, in other fun news!

You guys aren’t the only ones having panic attacks. We’re right next door and we’ll be one of the first nuked

If you’re willing to be the back half of a moose, I’ve got a plan...

There was a really great piece about someone being hit by a bus once. Forget who wrote it, but it was really good!

I mean, I can see where he’s going with it in his follow-up.