Side note: one of my favorite things to see in sports is the pitcher who doesn’t even bother to turn around after giving up a giant dong.

“Running is the easier, lazier way to play QB.”

Fuck off with that nonsense.

Yeah it totally wasn’t a gay slur then. You just were being a jock and saying that your opponent is less of a man, because gay people are weak sissys. You didn’t think he was actually gay! PC culture run amok.

I don’t think that’s what “sadly” means

Although impossible to poll, it would be interesting to determine how many NFL players actually enjoy playing versus tolerate it for the wages.

Sorry Drew but “Mississippi Ethics Commission” was easily the funniest thing I read on deadspin today

You can’t fool me Nick.

But they’ve already prepared the burlap sacks with the dollar sign on the side.

We could explain this to you, but it will require a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician and a statistician…

Federica Pellegriniis trains using a new technique. She trains in a pool of carbonated bubbly water. Her coaches claim the water is naturally sparkling, but we know the truth.

I mean, I could almost buy this if one of his wish-list destinations were not Minnesota.

IS it NECESSARY for Lebron to drink his own urine?? No, but he does it anyway because it’s sterile and he likes the taste.

This shouldn’t be a surprise. Says right there in Matthew 24:36 that none may know the hour of his return. Not even the angels in heaven or Tim himself. Only the Father knows.

I’m kind of hoping he excels at baseball so I can laugh at the fact he wasted most of his athletic prime trying to play professional football.

Doubleheaders I believe are two 7 inning games

I’m guessing it was part of a doubleheader.

Well then you’ll be angry and one handed, but at least you’ll be full.

Look, they said they had juiced balls. I went to talk to them, but we ended up talking about Russian orphans. That’s it. I swear.

The only proper snack for sports is orange slices you can turn into faux mouth guards. My child will have unfettered access to orange slices and be the least scurvy child on the field. Eat that shit, other parents!