If it makes you feel better, he’ll never make the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Burnley midfielder, one-time England international, and Deadspin Commenter Joey Barton

1) Joey Barton has always been, and always will be a douche.

2) Placing a prop bet on himself for getting the first yellow in the match is easy money. He’s a fool for betting on his own matches but not making the obvious bet.

Do the teams provide housing for players? How else could some of these guys live on $53,000 in places like New York or San Jose?

Juicero is an all-timer

He was pulled over in the town of Covington when police noticed the bullet holes on his car...

I want to get inside Ellie from Brooklyn’s head. She’s got some hot existential takes - “the basis of our lives is our beliefs” and “People don’t live their lives on an ideological wavelength” - and decides, on September 12th, to call into Mike and the Mad Dog to share them.

Sorry, wait, who the fuck are the Atlanta Hawks?

Ugh. All of those pretentious University Presidents have PHDs in something. She insists you call her Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

During her previous time in Waco....

Are we not saying “dinging dongs” anymore? Which, that’s fine, whatever, but if we’re doing a new thing and nobody told me, *that* I’d have a problem with.

I dunno some of the celebrating penalties certainly seem like a Black and White issue

show a little respect for the office of president, Col-Stinkmeaner...

That’s great for Russell Westbrook but Mike Trout is still the superior hitter by nearly every advanced metric

I know. Crazy the Cavs still won despite that.

I wonder if Georgetown will win after he leaves. I’ll bet Jonah Keri has a theory that could explain this.

Please stop posting old articles as new stories just for additional clicks.

It’s not really a perception. Looking at Nielsen, WWE audiences have a lower median income and a lower education level than any of the big four sports. (This is probably not why my employer gave me access to Nielsen data.)

I am so fucking drunk right now.