She was putting a lot of trust into her police department, though

If American knew who the hell she was that would’ve been the lead image for sure.

The only thing that matters here is whether Heyward would “opt out” of enjoying Chicago’s world-renowned restaurants and performing arts to hang out with St. Louis chucklefucks, or whether he would forego millions of dollars to avoid the so-called “best fans in baseball.”

Similarly, when I open the front door, nobody expects me to have pants on.

Is there any difference at this point between the Zenith and the Nadir of Billspin?

Looks like how I used to dance with girls in middle school.

Dear Mr. Watt,

Holy shit.

As a UGA alum, I feel like I just broke up with a girlfriend who was wholesome and amazing but couldn’t clinch a SEC title. I am not good at metaphors.

That pre-draft scouting report slamming Newton’s “fake smile” is still one of the weirder things I’ve ever read.

How’d you guys figure out which one of you would be the straight man?

Doubtful. He hasn’t had an upper decker since 2011.

Wait til she finds out he pooped in the upper tank of the toilet.

That’s call capitalism. America’s built on that. Cam Newton is what’s great about America.

Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing!

Forget the obvious racism, when the fuck is the NFL going to not only allow but encourage people to dance, have group celebrations, do anything that isn’t actually vulgar(no jerking off motions or actual mooning) for 30 seconds after a TD? The fucking commercial, kick or 2 pt try, commercial, kick off, commercial…

It may not be perfect, but at least they are an undefeated 8-1.....

I’m...I’m kidding. I’ve never even talked to a woman.