I know, right? It’s the only sport that is negatively affected by severe, adverse weather.

The Dolphins moving to Jupiter seems like a much better idea.

Kind of unfair to make them play Trinidad AND Tobago at the same time.

What is it with dancing parents? Am I going to become a terrible dancer when I have kids, too?

Former Ohio Bobcat Maurice Ndour is, you know, an elite rim protector.

In his defense, 85% of Canadian car accidents involve a Tim Horton’s collision.

I have more of a problem with Kylie saying “I woke up like disssss.” Girl. It’s been a year. People aren’t saying that anymore. And you don’t talk like that in real life. Just stop.

I originally read this as she survived but also killed her husband. O.o

Well, Rex said he wants to build a bully. Coaches willing to punch a kid in the face are a good start. Hope he got his lunch money.

Thank you for this

I never saw him play at Bama or in the NFL but I had the pleasure of meeting him when I was about 10. I’m 34 now and meeting him has stuck with me.

It should also be noted that the NASCAR banquet he is boasting about keeping the deposit for is a cancer charity fundraiser.

Las Vegas Bucks.

What are you talking about!!!!!!!

Sorry, but I won't stop having sex with your sister.

These are complete, coherent thoughts that serve as an effective counterpoint to the analysis presented above.

You knew - you just knew - that as soon as those goddamn progressives got their way with gay marriage that random people would start appearing on TV. It’s a slippery fucking slope, I tell you.

Matt: “I learned it by watching you!”

He doesn’t figure Danica is a person, obviously.