It’s only a matter of time until they find that truckload of stolen electronics.

Discover mountains, Stef. IMPORTANT mountains

You are—without hyperbole—worse than Hitler.

I mean if we are going to use what an actual pitcher would do in the situation, his season would be ended by his 10th game or first against St. Louis when he took 4 fastballs to the face.

You can say what you want about the tenets of national socialism but at least it’s an ethos.

My ex and i used to have sex during Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes. I’m not sure what that says about me.

It’s okay. I cheated against you. It was with my wife each time.

Was dating a girl who had never seen Ferris Bueller and we watched and like 20 minutes in she got bored and she wanted to start getting down to business. Was actually pretty pissed she wanted to hook up instead of taking the chance to watch a classic. Also seeing sloan is like proven boner material

Better check to see if it has a red dot first.

You were then a Cabin Man.

Counterpoint: I entered my wedding reception to “Real American” dressed as Hulk Hogan, with my wife carrying the Winged Eagle championship belt.

They could have at least have the sport model clock a few laps.

The Padres has a farm system too.

But I bet you looked good in that skirt!

I can’t believe no one had the correct answer.

No kidding. They’re not fooling anyone.

Do Not Masturbate While Seated

Also, Dude, Chinese fire drill is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian Evacuation Simulation, please.

I'll take three!