Now is a good time for us on the West Coast to secede. I think we’re done with all that “United States” bullshit. Because tonight absolutely proved it’s bullshit. Unequivocally.

Outside agitators=Bad. Outside goons=Good and patriotic.

If anyone feels like taking their anger and disgust and putting it toward making your voice heard on the subject, I have just the thing for you:

This. I guess some people watched Idiocracy and thought there’s what I never knew I always wanted!

Still waiting for my arcologies to show up.

I did some research. It’s actually Carl Lucas.

I would laugh my ass off if his name was Luke Cage.

She was out at the DAPL protest ahead of most mainstream media, so she can eat all the fucking clay and sun her parts all she wants, in my book.

#notalllatinas think he’s a great monster! Some of us think he’s a flatulant small handed impotent monster who has to wear diapers at night and cries in the shower, who only messes up facts because he never learned to read and only hates brown people because he’s never properly figured out how to tan his skin enough,…

Loved her on Agents of SHIELD; she's Irish-Ethiopian, of all things.

Agreed. She played my absolute favorite character on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I thoroughly love her acting and am excited to see her in something more high-profile.

This is the first I have heard of the lead actress. She is stunning.

Honestly I’m more likely to believe that Kevin grew up to be Michael Alig from Party Monster

Well, I certainly don’t approve of what they did but you know, Republicans are always saying they want immigrants to really embrace the American way of life.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M MAKING THIS UP!? I REALLY DID STAB SOMEONE FOR CHANGING THE CHANNEL ON THE TV! NOW ELECT ME PRESIDENT DAMMIT BECAUSE I HAVE A CALM DEMEANOR THAT WILL GUIDE OUR GREAT NATION TO PROSPERITY!

This woman is THE WOOOOORRRRRSSSSSTTT.

Upon my return to her table, she meekly asks me, “Can I have a glass of ice, please?” Wow, my first please from her. ...Wow, a thank you, too....she finally figured out not to screw with restaurant servers. The best part, they left a huge tip too, well in excess of 25%.

“They are still stunned that this is how it has all gone down,”

This sketch does not get nearly enough praise, but I think it might be his best:

True story: I beat Tyson as a kid. I was playing at the neighbor's house with their two kids and we were doing the typical 10-year old thing - playing video games all night until our eyes bleed. It was about midnight (Saturday) before I worked my way up to Tyson. I had faced him before and, like most people, got curb…