Hurr hurr hurr! I'm a guy so I know what women's life experiences are because I know fucking everything. Mo mommy and all my teachers told me so, that's why women women tell me how they are treated, I correct them. Because I are a man and that makes me smartzz! Hurr hurr hurr.

Right?? Like this conversation would not be possible because I would be in jail right now with no access to the internet.

BOOM. This is the truth.

I do not find Mia Farrow's graphic illustration of the destruction of their family due to Woody Allen cheating on her with her teenage daughter to be as shocking as the actual destruction of their family due to Woody Allen cheating on her with her teenage daughter.

If I'd just discovered my partner had been sleeping with my child, you better believe a sad/cryptic card wouldn't be the worst thing to happen.

Why not? Jezebel regularly reports on feminist and women's issues including violence directed at women. This is very much in line with articles that have appeared on this site in the past.

Does no one remember the mole?? I remember his mole. Those were good times.

Guide to the superbowl:

"The first most important thing to do is PICK A TEAM! "

And then it won't be long until Jez gets all mad and offers $10,000 for unretouched photos of you with your new friends singing "Kumbaya."

The "faux altruism" you got called out for was the blatant insincerity of: "Lena is sooo perfect and gorgeous and NOT fat just the way she is!! (but send us photos of her without photoshop so we can post them and other people can judge how ugly and chubby she is and we can get clicks) xoxo".

I like to be on top so I can constantly check my Fitbit and see how many calories I'm burning. Sorry, orgasm, you'll have to wait another 50 calories!

What?! You don't think Vin Armani is his real name? That maybe he just designed it?

What if the therapist is also an escort?

Hooowwwwww about this:

Isn't ten grand the entire, collective salary of the Jezebel staff? Don't you guys have to eat this month?

This is why you aren't in the company photo Dr. Zoidberg:

Or you could take that $10,000, Jezebel, and donate it to a worthwhile charity.