What did the snail say when it rode on the turtle’s back?

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

I broke the middle cord on the cheap mini blinds in my office. Rather than deal with the lazy and shoddy landlord, I sewed the cord back together with some white thread, and the fix is invisible! Yay for kluge fixes.

We had one male jezzie who used to troll the SNS threads and talk about how his daughter had “electra” syndrome and wanted to fuck him. It took I believe Jinni calling him out for him to stop posting his fantasies all over SNS. Funny thing is though, people just forgot that he did that, and he comments to this day. I…

Hi all! I created this burner to shamelessly brag about my personal life. It might get buried in the greys— oh well!

Kaia Gerber in her debut catwalk season put the countdown clock on the Instamodels. Halfway decent Gigi Hadid might still get booked, but Bella is toast and Kendall is a straight-up liability/embarrassment at this point. I do not even understand what Alexander Wang was thinking when he added those two twerps to the…

If people are still associating with/supporting Polanski (who isn’t as powerful as Weinstein) it seems naive to think they will affect Weinstein much.

His opposition is hilarious when you consider that men’s inability to be empathic and sympathetic as well as the outright refusal to adjust to a modern workforce that is predominantly about care giving are exactly why their unemployed asses are getting left behind and women are taking over.

Oh, I get it. ‘Estrogen Hour’ cause crying and having empathy is for women. We should totally listen to men like Sabo. He knows the correct way for men to have feelings - gunning down hundreds of innocent people from the safety of a hotel room.

In other news, water is wet and bears shit in the woods.

“Lawyer says that proceeds from the case will be donated to women’s organizations.”

How can he justifiably argue that it’s false and defamatory when he issued an apology statement?! Wouldn’t that just get dismissed right off the bat?

The shittiest part about all of this is that there is a good chance that even THIS will not be enough to take him down.

I can’t take credit for being this witty, but if the tenth movie isn’t called Fast 10: Your Seatbelts, that’s a real missed opportunity.

The worst kept secret in New York or Hollywood.

Seriously, thank you. Things have been so bleak lately, it’s a treat to think about getting past all this.

This reminds me of a fun family story - Steve Jobs once spotted my mother at a social occasion, wrangling 5 year old me by one hand while nursing my infant sister with the other. He was apparently struck by her maternal beauty and being in the market for a wife and a mother of his future children, he approached her…

Once a coworker told me that even after Sandy Hook he’s never giving up his guns, I realized any attempt at a discussion about it was completely over.

This is such an important point: the fact that the richest country in the world is using resources that could have gone to other countries is worse than embarrassing. It should be criminal.

Not only is this an embarrassment for US, this is a huge drain on resources earmarked for countries that genuinely can’t respond because they don’t have the infrastructure, skills or leadership. I work for Oxfam, based in a developing country, and although everyone agrees we must step in, the mood is one of collective…