But why is a thong dress??

It was originally Warren Machinenowitz, but it was changed at Ellis Island.

Nobody cares about your (tiny) stupid boner.

"We sincerely apologize on behalf of McKenna Peterson's feminism. Please accept these complementary pom pom's as our way of saying we look forward to seeing you on the field. They're pink!"

the best, BEST reaction to my emergency c-section came from my best friend:

This, exactly. I know myself that I'm in no way a potential rapist, but I also know that if you stand me beside an actual rapist, you will not be able to tell the difference.

Dear Single Men of (Insert Any City Here),

I am not good with change, but you had me at "writing her essay with a Black & Mild dipped in foundation," which made me spit hardtack at my laptop. I was yours forever with the "Cool Girl" Baby joke. Old Dirt Bag is dead. Long Live Jia Dirt Bag!

I actually love giving it but dole it out after actually being with a man for a few months.

NO oversized or excessive jewelry

The point is to laugh our assess off and mock this dumb ass human being. WHO DESERVES IT OBVIOUSLY!!! who are you anyway on that damn high-horse??? too good to laugh at people??? have some serious business your after???on the fucking jezebel??? no you don't

eleven billionty.

Not to mention that I get the vibe that if this woman did eventually work outside the home, he'd say that he couldn't "really" see himself being with a "career woman". Go on and just do you, lady, and find the emotional support you need even if you have to pay for it. You'll be OK!

Um, the second letter writer's guy is a piece of shit. Caring for someone with ALS is spectacularly and singularly difficult, physically and emotionally. Never waste another minute of your life interacting with that man, and do look into a visiting nurse. You need time for yourself, whether it feels like it or not.

My best one has to be last year, when I was in my friend Dave's wedding (not his real name). The wedding itself went fine, except for when the lights flickered in the church during the vows and everyone freaked out and the bride's grandmother wanted to start the vows over.

"Oh we like Emma, so we wouldn't do that to her. But that Sarkeesian b^&ch? We want her dead."

Heaven forbid a woman want to attract the male gaze! HARLOTS!

you don't know that she only has one tribra, maybe it was taken before and after laundry. Shishhhh man. Maybe its her dress up tribra

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most. Not even in Florida.

Maybe it's because I'm a new mother and I'm taking this all very seriously, but can we *not* (even gallows-humorishly) call recently deceased INFANTS "fuckers." Please.