I see what you did there. 

The helmet was hanging from her handlebars. Girl was protecting that brain pan.

I mean.. have you SEEN the guy?

I feel kind of bad about myself for knowing this information but her father was welcome at the wedding even after the set up photos. He was told there was a suit waiting for him, just come. He was never uninvited, he just refused to go.

I enjoy your anecdotes! I read the article on the Daily Beast earlier and didn’t even have the heart to come here til now. WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS!?

And a black kid gets ten days in jail, a year of supervised probation and 150 hours of community service for missing jury duty. I fucking can’t anymore.

I know it’s been said before, but Miller has the most exquisitely punchable face. I honestly don’t know how the guy gets thru an hour without someone throwing a punch.. or swinging a board.

At first glance I thought that’s what it was. I sometimes do a lot of similar nonverbal communication.

I would like to invest in your business venture. My neighbor has a very large dog.

Jesus fucking christ. This shit keeps my anxiety level at FREAKALLTHEWAYOUT levels on a daily basis. 

New Zealand. Maybe we can be pen pals.

Jesus H Christ on a moderately stale cracker! If I wake up screaming from nightmares of this, I’m coming for you.

I did what you said and imagined that, and my life is better for it. Thank you. You’re doing the Gourd’s work.

My bf lives in NZ. I've already made plans to be across the Pacific for this shit show. Absentee vote and GTFO, is the plan.

Stop the ride. I want to get off.

Something something exsploogesion.

Upon careful consideration, your take seems to be the correct one.

Starred, but with a big ol’ side eye for the mental image that came with “Donny Meatsweats”. 

I want us to be friends. And hang out on the regs. And definitely do that whole thing where we follow the #pussyassbitch around and shout mean things at him.

Every fucking day I somehow think things can’t get worse, and then... There is apparently just no bottom. Sometimes I think I should just totally disengage from the news for self care reasons, but I'm just not built that way.