Church stops telling people who and how to fuck, people will stop bring their fucking-related issues to church.

It’s unclear how Donald Trump will respond to the torturing death of an American citizen at the hands of an autocratic and brutal regime

Which reminds me, I need to score some whale oil...

A general rule is if the only reason you are angry at someone is that their dopey magic is different from your dopey magic, you should probably just stay home.

The whole ‘pagans are satanists’ thing was just a pretext for the Holy Roman Empire to force people to convert. It’s unfortunate that it survives to this day, given the fact that Jesus himself said it was fine to coexist with, and pay taxes to, pagan emperors.

Most recently, police say, a group held a purported exorcism outside the shop and threatened to burn it down.

Ah, another example of Christian love and tolerance. Per usual.

Gosh, a medium-talent hack whose main defining characteristic was she was less-sexist & racist than her Fox News colleagues has a hard time finding an audience outside of her bubble?

Color me not fucking surprised.

You mean we might actually get her outta here if this ratings trend continues?

What he meant was, that someone is looking for literal witches within his administration, and that is absurd and unnecessary because he sprayed for witches last fall.

He signed the devil’s book!

Not possible. Trump definitely weighs more than a duck.

I just can’t fathom what is going through their mind on a day to day basis.

No one their administration has enough class to name themselves “Deep Throat.”

Also this shit:

These people are unbelievable idiots. I just can’t fathom what is going through their mind on a day to day basis. If Trump had just SHUT UP and stopped complaining about this investigation, it would be background noise and wouldn’t be huge news until it was completed. It’s only sucking up all the oxygen because…

Next you’re going to see Jay Sekulow attempt to insist that when Trump was referring to a “witch hunt” it had nothing to do with the special counsel’s activities and was actually in response to the constant accusations of night-dancing and crop-sabotage leveled at Trump by Goody Pritchard.

Trump tweets are like Nixon’s tapes