The fuck would I be doing in New Jersey?

Yeah, we’ve examined the audio, and it turns out LeBron didn’t leave Kevin Love hanging at all. He just called him a shit-ass moron and told him the Cavs would be better if he’d never been born.

Well thanks to Gawker articles we know for sure that someone has done the first two. I have high doubts as to the third scenario, though.

Don't worry. Goodell has already suspended the account.

LeBron James wears 23

CSI: Neverland

Searching for it...

The difference is that the effects of a 110-pitch outing don’t make a person lose his mental capabilities.

Go to hell.

Braves: We need a new stadium!

Texas, as always, keeping their priorities straight.

On the plus side, the team now knows where to find a quality Fwd: FW: FWD:

I think the Bucks are OK. When the scammer saw one of the names listed as “Giannis Antetokounmpo”, he figured the Bucks’ employee was wise to his scam and just sending fake info.

“I called Kobe when I was still playing in Orlando and asked him what I should do. He’s the one who told me to do take 1,000 a day.”

This is a reasonable and correct take and has no place in Kinja.

I’m fine with Bernie staying in the race to accumulate votes and show Democrats that there is broad, national support for a progressive agenda. I am not alright with him staying in the race in a desperate bid to win.

Cool Story Bro: Was at a Bed Bath and Beyond in Houston several years ago, and out of the corner of my eye, this ball goes bouncing down the aisle, quickly followed by what I could only assume at the time was an alien spacecraft, a giant silvery blur. A few seconds later, Dikembe comes strolling back, ball in hand in…

IF the 76ers get the #1 pick NBA twitter gonna look like a Pete Carroll message board post.

Could be worse. I mean, blood clots aren't as devastating as the comet that wiped out the rest of his family sixty five million years ago.

Lacob’s Splatter