I finally read it. I know they are all correct of course, but perhaps I lack sophistication... I am going to start writing "Suk Dik" from now on.

Was reading this in a restaurant. Nearly made me spit out my apps (appetizers).

“He might try to tell you it’s “love” or whatever, but it is most definitely come.”

Stephen Hawking thought The Phantom Menace was the best Star Wars film. I’m glad he’s dead.

Good. Now fucking die, you useless bleating cunt. Take that feckless family of grifters with you. 

Kraft has already trademarked all three of those as "cheese" ingredients.

Australia. And it’s not a nostalgic longing for Empire. We’ve just got a lot of dumb racists.

Hey man, agree. I studied Mandarin at University 20 years ago. One Saturday morning at my weekend job a Boomer said to me “ching Chong Ching Chong, what did I say”. My response was “you’ve just told me you’re an ignorant cunt”. Was a tense morning in the butcher shop that day.

He has arrows. USB arrows. 128mb - useful for storing songs.

Cleric: "Bless you I won't do what you tell me"

This is the most artful non-sequitur I’ve seen since I saw a tug boat explain to Trotsky’s prettiest gopher-hunter the concept of customer satisfaction.

I was also at that concert. After three songs, and the miscreant coming forward as having the hat (but refusing to return it), the lead singer climbed high into the lighting rig above the stage and waited for everyone to stop noticing him. Then he found the girl, performed a stealth, aerial execution, accidentally…

You’re suggesting there’s a possibility where AC Newman has or could ever been wrong about anything. The man is an international treasure.

It’s great. They are great. You are wrong. I'm disappointed in you. Go to your room.

DRAMA!

“cos pres’den Trump is stopin’ democrats from they man’tory abortions, which they do right up to forty seven years after birth”

This picture is my favourite thing on the internet, and it never fails to make me laugh when I see it. I made it my avatar as soon as I saw it. That rabbit really does look like the kind of asshole you would groan audibly at as they entered a room.

Smack my switch up

This. Between the rejection of Trump and the great results from the Queensland election, I’m really hopeful that those sunburned morons won’t fuck us at the next federal election. And that Palmer will die of COVID in the next year. Fuck that stupid cunt.

I made a Sean Connery joke here, then noticed that well had been plumbed to death on the RIP article.