Don’t just throw it out. Throw it onto Mars. Stay safe. Practice vigilance. Burn your house afterwards. 100% of people agree that this is the right most judicious course of action.

Cherries on the outside but only God knows what is on the inside.

Truly, until I heard it buzzing I had no recollectiom. I live alone so no need to ever close the door and coming home to it closed I was like stranger danger 4 reaL.

I relate with this man so much.

You mean an internal, eternal shower in whiskey right? I can’t comprehend this otherwise.

Look at all these potential CRIMINALS!!! And you won’t believe it but, there are MORE in the refridgerator!!

Lol, yes to this advice!

This was a definite emotional setback so yes you are winning. I removed it ASAP but the damage was done. I am like Bella Swan and I’ll never truly feel again.

I handled it swiftly because say I die and it investigates my body or something? I’d have to die all over again which is annoying and excessive. Like once is enough, y’know? I thought about snapchatting you but talking makes it real again.

Sympathy (and donations in case anyone is Truly Moved) is much appreciated. Those ppl should be grateful it wasn’t real; this is the kind of event that makes people chain smoke.

But how about PTSD? Did you get that? THIS WAS HIGHLY DISTRESSING. I am worried.

It really isn’t. Food is getting a way thumbs down for me.

My life expectancy feels really low rn and this whole flat has gtg. Will consider this if dying fails me first.

I am giving up all fruits and vegatables. I mean how can I give them another chance after that? Like Lady Gaga and Beyonce said, “[tropical fruit] is like a mirror. You can fix it if it’s broke... But you can still see the [scariest most horrible spider] in that motherfucker’s reflection.”

That is already! a story and I just love dreams with plot devices and intrigue. Sometimes the matrix is a great place. Glad the Z-catching was a success. Slow claps for you all around. :)

Don’t stop bring you. All I gotta say.

Thankee and BBQ sauce for the win forever.

Also pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease star this!

DYING from happiness. Also this GRAPHIC kitchen nightmare that happened earlier.

Are we getting an SNS or should I hit the sheets? It is 2am in the UK and I am le tired.