The tears on this website might be a close second. It’s a fucking football game, not a metaphor for the country.

It actually originally said cocaine.

I drink water, too.

This fits in so well with my life as a Bills fan: Fitz looks all-pro against the Bills, then looks like this the next week. Meanwhile in Buffalo, they somehow manage to make Carson Palmer look like, well, Ryan Fitzpatrick. Right when I think I’m out, they pull me back in and slam me through a folding table.

Is this the same coach? He seems great.

Well looks like I have a new favorite Plummer in the NFL (Sorry, Tomsula).

Can’t believe I’m saying this, but good move by the Browns to put themselves in a position to draft 3 quarterbacks in the next 2 years

Fuck you, guns. And douchebags with guns. RIP Will.

This is really messed up. I'm on the corner where it happened. People are saying it was a fender bender that got heated. I was here when they took his wife away on a stretcher. She was yelling for Will. Really tragic.

Such a play is known as a Kobe, as it allows you to pass to yourself and involves an asshole.

As an Indianapolis resident, I can report that there are quite a few big dicks flopping around town right now. (Walks past Peter King and Mike Florio waiting in line for brunch.)

That's at least a 7.2. Not sure what the 40 time was.

Hey Nathan, while you’re here could you look over our financials? Things aren’t going so well..

I posted a link to this article on my Facebook, inviting my slutty friends (of which there are many) to join my fianceé Andrew in recreating/photo-video documenting this position:

Man, it's hard enough to find ONE partner...