Your recipe made me happy but the lack of potato in your life made me sad. This comment was a real roller coaster of emotions.

does this help?

Whether paying for it or giving it away, fact of the matter is that food is either going to be eaten or not eaten and thrown away. School cafeterias can keep nearly NOTHING as leftovers for more than maybe a day before FDA regulations demand that you toss out everything you cooked the day before. I highly doubt that…

“ Like this, for example: “Haribo gummy dinosaurs speed up your metabolism because their shape is interpreted by the body as predatory, causing them to be processed by the digestive system more quickly than other gummies. That seems scientific to me.” See? Gorgeous.” This is gorgeous.

I primarily shop second hand and pick clothes I respond to, not necessarily what’s in style. I’m not into trends, just what fits well and flatters my mombod (sorry, it’s in my head now). I’m getting away from dark colors and venturing into the light side and prints. This is what I want to look like this summer:

Exactly. AND it’s not like crunches burn fat. I’m pretty sure I have a six pack due to all the pilates I’ve done over the years, but it’s hidden under a layer of abdominal fat. Some people simply have squishy bellies (and a proclivity for pasta).

I’ve never been pregnant, but I second this. I am THIRTY ONE YEARS OLD, Kelly. You’re not talking about “some crunches,” you’re talking about a kabajillion crunches, endless cardio, and never eating another carb as long as I live. If I wasn’t willing to do it the first time around, I’m sure as hell not doing it now.

People keep thinking I’m weird because I go to the movies alone. It’s not like you’re talking through out the entire movie (if you are, shut the fuck up). Going to the movies is like being alone with someone anyway.

This can and does cross gender lines. A crossfit-crazy coworker of mine loves to comment on my lunches. “Do you have any idea how many calories are in that?” This guy was also an oversharer, and I knew way more than I wanted to about his personal life just because he’d talk to pretty much anyone in the office as if we…

No one goes to school in Bath. Bath is where you go to escort your maiden aunt who’s suffering from ill humors and must take in the air, but needs a companion other than her over indulged spaniel Mr. Powderhauser and her dour ladies maid Frida. If she asks you to go, you must, because you have no fortune of your own,…

I like asking stylists to tell me about any extreme (good or bad) hair makeovers they’ve done. Apparently, there’s a 50-something cancer survivor with a hot pink mohawk in my town that I’ve never seen but plan to hi-five if I ever do. She literally walked in and was like, “I didn’t die and now that I have hair again,…

"Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."

Pretty sure this is directly tied to lack of paid maternity leave. If your income is going to take a hit for having infants, better to get all the rough years over with at once. I guess you could argue that longer spacing = more time to save up for the next baby, but we all know Americans suck at saving no matter…

I was unproductive yesterday, but still got some things done. I made a list last night in bed so that I could wake up and get started!

Helping friends move: Fuck no. If you are grown-up enough to get married, you are grown-up enough to hire movers. I never feel guilty saying no to a favor that I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to do for me. Someone recently "invited" me to a party at her new house so we could help her paint every single room. I…

Don't go to a football game. Football games are terrible in person.

All water on the planet has had shit in it.

I wore blue flats. Didn't even consider heels - I knew I'd be miserable! Plus then we got to take cute pics like this.

They must have smelled FABULOUS.