to be quite frank, if I’m going by the actions of their followers, Satan seems like a way cooler guy than Jesus.

I am an engineer. My employer pays for me to go to several training and continuing education classes a year so I can learn how to do my job better. How is this different, other than the fact that the employees in question are domestic workers?

Isn’t that why you get married? To get him to wear JCrew stuff then “borrow” his shirts?

It’s not just that the prices have skyrocketed, it’s that the quality has tanked. In college I would splurge on one of their cashmere v-necks a year and gradually built up a nice little collection that lasted most of a decade. Two of the last three sweaters I bought there arrived with holes in them. Also 98% of their…

Is she allergic to weed? Because that’s an awful lot of nose-rubbing for “rolling a joint.”

I just found this one which I think might be cuter.

Anyone who can stand hearing their kid cry for any extended period of time is made of much sterner stuff than me.

When babies are very small, they are not even capable of manipulating us in that way. I’m not sure at what age they are, but when a baby cries, it has a need, either hunger, cold, wetness, or just a need to be held.

every time i watch "the last text" (going on around 30 by now), it actually gets EVEN FUNNIER

10 years ago, I got a nasty infection in both eyes and almost went blind from it... and at the end of the ordeal, the ophthalmologist told me that for the rest of my life, I need to wash my eyelids with baby shampoo twice a day in order to continuously wash away any bad bacteria that could potentially make its way…

The day I suck a man's dick for any other reason than because I goddamn felt like it is the day every single one of you needs to put a fucking bullet in my head.

Can you imagine how warped the paper is going to be if you print a cyan background?

He doesn't even work in our office. He just gets to work without pants on, remotely.

Maybe I'm just a bad liberal on this, but "cultural appropriation" criticisms are typically bullshit. Why can't someone be inspired by other cultures and use it to influence their own art?

"She will not come out of this hell. She's mine. Anyone who prays for her will die."

Right, that's why he's exchanging texts with a teenager.

This is perfect. Some designers truly seem to want to design for young boys, not actual females with female bodies. Now that they have everything they've ever wanted: little boy shaped like a coat rack they can present as women so many of us can dream of fitting their clothing. Karl Largerfeld and Choupette must be…

[citation needed]

I can't adequately explain how much I dislike this shoe trend.

I heart Johanna's resting bitch face. It's to die for!