His girlfriend looks like she’s 20 years older than him and really likes meth....

One beautiful morning years ago I turned a corner along San Francisco’s waterfront, and in a glance suddenly saw the Golden Gate bridge bathed in sun, Mt. Tamalpais and the Marin headlands beyond it, Alcatraz just a stones throw to my right, with the east bay hills back dropping it. I’m a native, and the sight still…

It was picked up not because of anything he was wearing, but a bit more to do with how he climbed on a moving schoolbus and went batshit.

All of the Cowboys wives/girlfriends just invested heavily in American flag apparel.

This guy has a sword tattoo! Doesn’t he know the Penn is mightier than the sword.

too late, you eeeeediot.

Here, have a Snickers.

Do you mean Kate Micucci?

San Andreas sucked. The Rock was a LA disaster guy who stole equipment to save his daugther in San Francisco. What a huge dick. He was basically the villian. 

...what does the “dominate” animation look like? Asking for a friend.

For me it’s “Listen To Her Heart” - no question. “She might need a lot of loving / But she don’t need you......”

WALLS BITCH

But okenrub mah penis to all of the porn.

Nope, too many books also. I went to the library, it was like a whole building just full of books I’ll never read. What’s even the point?

The red shirt dude...that reaction is four feelings in one face.

I like that thing they did with the roof.

And every time she thought she was finished, another Columbo would appear and say, “Just one more thing....”

I understand that. You understand that. EVERYONE understands that which is why we don’t bring rotting shitboxes home.

“Everybody knows this is meaningless because I didn’t watch it.”

Okay, so one of two things happened here. Either Durant was feeling particularly feisty and wanted to tweet at a hater in the third person, or, as @harrisonmc15 theorizes, he was attempting to use a spoof account to defend his honor and forgot to log out of his main account before tweeting