Melania’s speech just shows what happens when you copy someone else’s empty cliches.

That seems right. Notice that when she got to the US, Huang took her passport away from her, and as it said in the story, she can’t speak English and had no money. It would be very easy to control such a person. I’m a little surprised that her boss let her have a cell phone.

Maybe Colbert torments her the way David Letterman once joked about how he sent copies of his W-2 forms to all the girls that refused to go out with him.

Let me guess—Loretta Lynch gets to keep her job.

Didn’t you see those argyle pants the Norwegian curling team wore at the last Winter Olympics? I’ll bet those are real chick magnets.

They are now probably offering to plead guilty in return for mandatory 10 year prison sentences. They figure 10 years in a Finnish prison will be more comfortable than life in Cuba.

Also, she ranted and raved all during the Duke lacrosse case, and then, on the day the charges were dropped? Surprise—a substitute host.

Are they named Jake and Elwood?

The city of Baltimore has paid a $6 million plus settlement to Gray’s family. This is an admission that the city did something wrong, even if that wrong did not rise to the level of criminal behavior. But if none of the officers is convicted of any criminal conduct, the media in Baltimore may raise questions as to why…

As I recall, that show did a fairly convincing job of creating reasonable doubt about her guilt. I think it demonstrated that even if she removed the plug from the kayak, it could not have caused it to sink.

Johnny Carson’s old law firm: Gonif, Swindle & Finagle.

He would be great at team handball, like they have in the Olympics.

My question now is: With Cleveland winning a professional sports championship, which city is now “Loserville”?

I read that Paul Simon wrote “Mother and Child Reunion” because he saw it on a Chinese restaurant menu, listing a dish that featured chicken and eggs.

And Jalopnik?

Cheer up! Jesse Ventura’s judgment against Chris Kyle’s estate got overturned on appeal and sent back for a new trial. Maybe its a bad time to be a washed-up pro wrestler who won a defamation lawsuit.

Or Dr. Demento fans.

From the very beginning Elvis always acknowledged that he liked Big Boy Crudup, who recorded the original of “That’s Alright, Mama.”

The Beach Boys didn’t “steal a guitar sound” from Chuck Berry, they took the whole tune of “Sweet Little Sixteen”. They had to make a deal to pay royalties to Berry.

Like the Sir Douglas Quintet?