Understandable, but I’d argue that of the two, Twitter’s the one that leads to nuclear war.

Oh that’s golden, delicious.

They’ve gotta remove him. Can’t let him spoil the whole bunch.

Sounds like this guy is rotten to his core.

This is what happens when you eat too many Ls.

He’s a golem made of mayonnaise.

“have you considered having some work done? ...oh, you have? and this is the result? okay... cool.”

What about literally roasting her?

Please have him email me and tell me what the alloys are before I perish.

Trump didn’t realize the biggest problem with building the wall was that the illegal aliens could just levitate over it.

*Mother starts to open gift*
Mother: “What the hell is this?”
Me: “It’s Smeg, ma!”

Working on it

Because all football players are from the ghetto and are incapable of doing anything else worth merit, right?

I see people say this over and over, and the only thing I can say is “so?”.

Maybe if the bin was wearing the other team’s colors...

“You gain access as you gain experience in the field” is fucking meaningless unless you demonstrate the capacity to evaluate what you’re giving up in exchange for access, or what things you might publish but perhaps don’t because access.

‘I have all these tasty seasonings but I refuse to use them on steak, a food I enjoy.’

That’s so obviously photoshopped!

Found the butthurt Falcons/49ers fan

Immediately after the game, the San Francisco 49ers reached out to offer the St. Michael-Albertville defensive coordinator a job as an assistant coach.