"You get blackballed." "She gets blackballed." "EVERYONE GETS BLACKBALLED!!"

A creepy thing Ashley did on my phone last week was to steal it at a bar while I was sending an email, and text my easily confused boyfriend the following picture (in response to a text about his 9 year-old nephew):

Gross gross gross. But this is a nice time to say that when I was younger I thought they only made fur from dead animals in the first place. I was naive...

OMG I just noticed the side eye happening on these scales of justice AND I LOVE IT.

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…

The Internet: Where "I do not agree with you" turns into "I will fucking murder your entire family".

In the post, we see an exuberant, happy, unselfconscious kid who just wants to jump around, have fun, and play with anyone who'll join him. In many of the comments, we see the social forces that will do their damnedest to crush that out of him. Courage, small person. Keep being you, keep doing the Calvin and Hobbes…

He name-dropped Calvin and Hobbes. In a dancing context. I'm ok with this.

You all are so mean. I responded to this ad and this gentleman was fantastic. Sure, he "murdered" me, and now I'm a "ghost" speaking to you from "beyond the grave". But before he stabbed me 30 or 40 times(I know-you were expecting death by gun, weren't you??! he's full of romantic surprises like that). But back to…

Doo eet.

"very well-equipped"

Eh, not so much.

"If I am interested in you, I will send a reply with a date and location for our first meeting....where I will kill you."

"EXTREMELY NSFW PIC"

I mean... yeah. I totally agree with you, but she's 16. This is something that will probably haunt her for the rest of her life, for sure... but what kind of judgement and thoughtfulness under pressure do we as a society really expect from a 16 year old?

All of these people are allowed to operate cars and vote in elections....and raise children

seriously how do people not know what smoked salmon is? i worked at a breakfast place for 3 years and at least 50% of people were shocked that it wasn't "cooked."

UGH. YES. My significant other's family is like this. They cannot for the life of them decide. His mother is just generally confused, his grandmother is mostly deaf and confused, his grandfather is mostly deaf and just cantankerous.

I always loved rationalizing with the really irrational ones.

The idiots survive by being loud and obnoxious until people start bending over backwards just to shut them up. The restaurant workers survive by being goddamned saints.

I'm laughing at the "gluten allergy." My wife and I have a good friend, a lovely person, who claims to be lactose-intolerant but must have half-and-half with her coffee (none of that 0% or soy milk for her!) and eats cheese regularly with no ill effects.