Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

Also, dating is a waste of time, but sex is better when you're emotionally involved with your partner. Do not deliberately seek out emotional involvement, simply achieve it.

2. Don’t hit the snooze button. If you gotta get up, then get up.

Penetrating the guy is an interesting change of pace. But, yeah, it wasn't as hot as I thought it would be, and figuring out a good position was kind of difficult.

The Picard Maneuver is pulling down the hem of your shirt.

Being tragically undateable is a common affliction.

I think it's one of those statements where even if you're joking, there's some part of you that's seriously considered giving up.

I had an OKC date tell me that his plan for the future was to buy a house, fill it with cats, die alone, and be eaten by said cats.

Is this how I kept getting all the flakes?!

I'm currently on hiatus from OKC after spending the summer (and my break from evening classes) entertaining gentleman callers.

In this woman's mind, the only part of a boy a girl could ever get turned on by looking at is his wee wee.

I have always loved this scene because "I shaved for this?" remains the best expression of contemptuous disappointment I've ever heard.

Why does Ross, the largest Friend, simply not eat the graffiti painters?

Lawyer? I thought he owns a business of repute; he is the mayor of this town.

Sponsored by Toyota, the Hatchback fit for a hunchback!

Headphones and a book.

I used to be a separate checks lady, but some male friends said that can send the message that I'm not interested. So, now I let the gentleman decide.

I'll always remember that looking at these stupid pictures was the moment when I officially became An Old.

If it's a medical issue, you may be able to get accommodations which (at least at my CC) are officially recorded and instructors are required to give.

I have penalties depending on the class. I almost never get a late paper that would have been an A paper. Usually the weeks or months late paper is still so shoddy that it gets a D or an F (depending on just how ridiculously late it was) and I get on with my life.