BDSM novel? Hot damn, where can I...oh, it's male dom? Never mind, I'll just watch that Star Trek episode where Kirk gets tied up.

You should've come over to the Simone house. Sometimes we'd decorate T-shirts with puffy paint...and it wasn't even anybody's birthday! This was back when neon was considered a neutral (and thus would obvious match any other neon color), so sky was the fucking limit. All you needed was a shirt that was at least two…

I remember really liking picking out stuff for the guests' goodie bags when I was a kid. Sometimes we'd also do little craft projects and my sister would usually have an egg hunt, so the goodie bag was also a way to take that stuff home.

...there wouldn't be food inequality if she stayed in the kitchen? Except she's not married...so...spinsters are depriving men of wives to stay in the kitchen? Damn this overeducation for making this so hard to understand!

That'll teach them to try to steal his books!

Well, what else am I going to drink before a giddy car ride and gas fight?

Argh, I hate competitive sleep deprivation. It's not like there's a limited amount of tired to go around, people.

When you think other men are acting like dicks, call them out on it. When I call out assholes who happen to be male, I need to calm down or relax or grow a sense of humor because it's just a joke. They are much more likely to listen to another man.

Hanging out with friends who had iPhones pretty much killed the urge to have one. Not because they were texting all the time, but because every "Hey, what was that movie/actor/place/thing?" type question had to be looked up right then and there. I say if you don't know it off the top of your head, google it 2-3 days…

For the essay, it's recommended that you use one personal example at most, so that's not necessarily a problem. A bigger problem would be if she's unable to come up with historical or fictional examples either. I tell my students to look things up now so they'll have some details to pull from and demonstrate how one…

This afternoon she left a turd in the litter box that would make the angels weep.

Zoot S. Riot is currently eating Blue Wilderness. She was eating Natural Balance, but then I noticed that peas were the main ingredient. Peas! I'd been trying to transition her to wet food (no dice) and/or grain-free, but fucking peas were the final straw. Now she just eats grass and licks water off broccoli as…

On a related note, Richmond Public Schools is looking at a $24 million deficit and planning to close up to three schools. Virginia Beach is looking at budget cuts, and the Virginia Preschool Initiative is going to have $81 million cut from its budget over the next two years.

As a Richmonder who's neither for this bill nor part of the "sparse redneck population," don't let the door hit you guys on the way out.

Today one of my students referred to a set of SAT practice questions as "these bitches."

Have you ever suggested or asked for anal sex with a partner?

When looking for funny looking cats, please do so at a shelter or rescue. You're not a bad person unless you're making new cats when there are still so many existing cats who need homes.

I'm actually impressed with how hairy my legs have gotten. I feel like I've accomplished something this winter.

Since I've got basic hygiene covered, I feel that if you look me in the snatch and complain about my stylistic choices, I'm going to kick you in the face or at least out of bed.

Maddie's are all silent but deadly. So she'll just suddenly jump up and run away.