I probably shouldn’t tell you then that Mint Moose Tracks is a thing and it’s better than regular Moose Tracks.

I like pistachio.  It’s pretty popular in Italy, so it makes sense it gets picked up as popular in NY, NJ and CT.

I tend to prefer strawberry or mint chip but we’ve been known to pick up moose tracks also.  

Everything except puberty, which is a metaphor for existential despair.

Isn’t everything?

Hey kotaku...

I’m worried about what this means for the site as a whole  

This bums me out, but I know it wasn’t up to you, Zack. Thanks for making the weekends fun again for the last several years. If Kotaku goes back to “all e-sports all the time” on the weekends, I’m fucking out of here.

“But these silly posts just don’t fit anymore with Kotaku.”

My mind is conjuring the press conference where a new team member is announced and the words “I’m proud to be a Trash Panda” come from their lips.

The “irony” of the Trash Pandas logo is not lost on this old Space Camp counselor. Can confirm that those little masked rascals were indeed living inside the Saturn V when it was housed outside. 

Soviet raccoons attempting to reclaim lost property.

Thanks, I am now ordering a hat.  $38, you fucker...but no way can I pass up a Trash Pandas hat knowing this exists.  

Given that their method to reduce weight in order to make faster subs was to remove the lead radiation shielding surrounding the nuclear reactor, I’d say that’s a very good possibility.

In fairness, it took nearly 50 years for it to take on water.

Based on what is happening in my old hometown, Raccoons will be infesting the ISS someday soon. (This is the logo of the minor league baseball team in Madison Alabama. This was the result of an online poll and the owners had the courage to not rename the team the Attenboroughs).

How does this article not lead with the raccoon infestation of the Russian submarine?

I had some canned margaritas that were 9% and a whole one gave me a nice buzz. I’ve learned to be cautious with juice-based drinks that go down easy. I will try Cranberry Dreams if I ever see it anywhere. The market is currently flooded with this sort of stuff.

I’ve had beers (IPA’s and stouts) with more than 11% ABV

11% is hardly what I’d call lethal; an average, middle-of-the-road wine has an ABV of 11-13%.