It doesn’t even have to be a good one. Swill will do at times like these.

Ikr. Like, who gets health care in shithole Denmark? Dirty ass Canadians who can’t afford AWFUL Canadian health care. That’s who.

To be fair though, I would assume that the mixture of cadmium, arsenic, mercury and lead it contains would limit the user’s sperm count.

Don’t say that. The Ministry of Truth might hear you.

I don’t know about elsewhere, but they still sell the veggie patty in Canada. I get it all the time. It’s surprisingly good. Even my carniverous boyfriend gives it his stamp of approval. At the same time, I have been craving a meatball sub with marinara and lots of cheese for approximately 13 years. Colour me excited.

But her emails...!! Oh- wait, am I in the right place?

As someone with skin that resembles buttermilk in the fall and winter, I say:

The problem is, the world doesn’t deserve Trump. As a Canadian, it’s like being a mouse trying to sleep beside an angry, orange elephant. One that insists on wearing a bad toupée.

You win all the stars today.

I manage a restaurant. If any restaurant, my own or another, represents such a point of contention in my mind (and believe me there have been days), whereby I have feel the urge to burn it down, I need help.

Well said :)

Ahhh Conrad. One of Canada’s national treasures *gags in back of throat* until he gave up his citizenship for a seat in the House of Lords. What a charmer.

Frankly, as a pale Canadian, I would have had a hard time not ripping that flag off his truck, burning it in front of him, and waiting for him to escalate the situation so I could very politely kick his lily white ass.

I believe there is official White House footage of the process:

I live in downtown Toronto. I knew there was something different in the sky today when I went outside! Thanks for the weather report Kotaku! Sunny with a chance of spaceships!

Absolutely. When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.

Actually, I use google. We don’t learn imperial in school, friend. Nor does the rest of the world. Keep waving that flag though. Yes, you are the best, we bow down to our American sphinx-like overlords. In fact the whole world does. We just love you. Please excuse my bad manners. I didn’t mean to insult your absolute…

Sorry for how I learned to spell words in English. I hate to make you feel like things exist outside of your own experience. It’s a hard reality to face. Plato’s Cave and all that.

Not much for nuance or metaphor, huh? I hope you have a really good day, neighbour. I know I will.

Whatever you say, peaches. If your kids like to throw rocks, and they end up through my windows and in my yard, it isn’t my fault just because I never built a taller fence. And if I did, something tells me that fence might just encourage them to throw the rocks a little higher.