I have a drawing I did in first grade based on WWW saying when I grow up I want to be Will Smith.

If anything I actively avoid places and products sponsored by the Teen Mom crew

voiced by the Rock, and his big magical fish hook.

2016 America: Where a 12-year old boy is shot and killed by the police for playing with a toy and it’s his fault because he should have “known” that people would see him as a threat, while a full-grown adult who rapes an unconscious woman and tries to flee should only have to endure a couple months of jail because…

My favorite part of the story: the best friend who had brought her to the bat mitzvah apparently also had a bit of a crush on me and they had got a little competitive about me. They were still best friends in college but I guess were in a fight at that particular time, and so right after we have the holy shit! moment…

As a goy I have a great Jewish geography story. I grew up in a pretty heavily Jewish neighborhood, so I had lots of Jewish friends as a kid. At one bat mitzvah I met this girl, and we totally hit it off and had a magical, romantic mitzvah evening. We exchanged numbers (this was just pre-email) but we never stayed in…

But how?! How do you protect children from awful things like this? I just want to hide all the children on an island away from awful people until they’re old enough to protect themselves. This shit makes me so mad/helpless.

Bonkbuster is my new favorite word. Game of Thrones: Bonkbuster. Lady Chatterley’s Lover: Bonkbuster. Fifty Shades of Grey: Total Bonkbuster.

Oh I like that. Or if Jo Jo had a cat, she could have been like “get my cat out of a tree, like firemen do.” And watching a bunch of full grown men trying to coax an angry cat from a tree would be some good fucking TV.

Agreed, except I would test if they could save my dog’s life from a burning building. I'll be fine but he better get my baby.

The number of Johnny Depp apologists out there is so depressing. I know he’s a lot of women’s Manic Pixie Dream Man Forever, but Jesus. I don’t care if it was alcohol/drug-related and he’s a real nice guy when sober, I don’t care if she “provoked” him, I don’t care if Amber Heard is or isn’t a gold digger, domestic…

Donald Trump loves kids. He’s going to be so good for kids. He’s got the best kids. and lots of them. And one in particular he wants to fuck. Sad!

I started watching for the backstreet boy and now I’m here for the hot russians

Same here. I was 13... painted my nails blue while I watched the Bronco chase and my dad told the story of OJ.

Finding out Mark Fuhrman is now a commentator on Fox News was so depressingly unsurprising.

I am rooting so hard for them. Also just think about how hot Blac Chyna and amber rose are gonna look at this wedding.

My daughter’s Girl Scout troop leaders are Marie, Mary, and Maria.

I wanted to name my future daughter Isabella, after my grandmother. Better to have people think you follow the British monarchy than are so obsessed with Twilight to the point you name your kid after an agency-less burlap sack of whinge. (Trying to cheer you up- any luck?)

So many people in my year during high school had the middle name Marie, so I couldn’t even do what my sister did and go by my middle name to stand out more. Or use both my first and middle together, ‘cause everyone was also some variant of Christine/Kristy. Hell, one of my best friends in my senior not only had the…