Both are bad because they attempt to co-opt somebody else’s identity, but false claims of Native American ancestry do nothing to change the definition of what is means to be of Native American ancestry, whereas claiming to be ACE (or liberal or Catholic, etc) when you’re not muddies the waters of what it actually…

“Clearly, I’d be the Avatar of sportswriters. You know, ten years ago I was the biggest thing around and seemed so groundbreaking, but now, I’ve slipped from the public consciousness and nobody remembers me fondly.”

Agreed. I didn’t say “only recently.”

Pause the video at 47 seconds. Ball well out of his hands, light not on.

Maybe she could just start telling people that she’s 1/16th Native American, or that she’s really scared of clowns. Those are less harmful things that uninteresting people like to do.

Photographer: “Okay, Landon. For the next shot, give me ‘special needs kid wearing his favorite outfit at recess,’ okay?”

Okay, you’ve sold me. I’ll watch it.

That’s definitely not how odds work.

Cars design has recently become hyper-aggressive and god knows our country feels as hostile as any of us can remember.

Are you saying that the an extra-sensitive man will be more enthusiastic which will translate to increased pleasure for the woman? If not, I don’t understand why you think a woman will benefit from a man with additional nerve endings in his dong.

Shouldn’t “Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is” be reserved for a really romantic cleveland steamer?

I wish that everybody who never worked in the back of the house could spend one night in a professional kitchen and be horrified to learn why restaurant food tastes so damn good.

Soccer is awesome, but it is weird that when goals are at such a premium and PK’s are converted at such a high rate, that they’re awarded a bit casually.

How do refs not know that if a player grabs his lower leg and rolls around, he’s diving?

It would massively reduce traffic, which would increase productivity and quality of life. That seems like a pretty good reason.

“The point is that self-driving technology has to be better than a human.”

Not just a good reviewer, but a great writer.

I remember in December when the Knicks were hovering over .500 and I allowed myself to feel something like optimism. Boy was I a fucking idiot.

Well, there we have it! It never occurred to me that Alaska wouldn’t have a Chipotle. Despite that, still a lovely state.

I didn’t know Apple made a 27" laptop.