Didn’t even know men could get camel toe before this.....

I’m suddenly reminded of this Eric Andre sketch

SUMMER SISTERS UNITE!

After the superbowl if I don’t look pregnant I know that it was a shitty superbowl party.

OMG commenters, there is a point at which you have to accept that when you read an article on a WEDDING BLOG it is most likely going to be about a fairly mainstream wedding, with lots of guests and dinner and open bar and a white dress. You are not making an Important Point by coming here and saying “whatevs you don’t…

A few nights ago, one of my Papa Johns co-workers fell down as he was about to put a pizza in the oven. Amazingly, he still got the pizza into the oven even as he was falling down. It was pretty remarkable.

No one is forcing these people to commit to a monogamous relationship. They're grown ass adults who actually do have a choice in what actions they take. Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous relationships, and plenty of people who aren't decide not to be in one. No one is forcing anyone to cheat.

I don’t know what’s worse - this, or figuring out after the fact all those late nights “at the office” were a lie and your poor mother did EVERYTHING on her own so that you could run around fucking other women. I seriously had no clue when it was happening. My parents didn't fight. But as an adult, and especially now…

As the adult product of this dad 20-30 years ago, I hope he’s not looking forward to good, long-term relationships with his kids.

SERIOUSLY. As someone who’s parents stayed together “for the kids” let me remind the parents that it doesn’t work. Your kids know you hate each other, you’re setting a bad example, and they’ll be just fine without you “married.” Staying in a bad marriage is the most self-centered thing to do, often disguised as “for…

I tripped and “boom!”, penis in vagina.

‪I had an unexpected affair three years ago.

The cat really doesn’t seem that upset. It’s ears aren’t back, it’s tail isn’t lashing, and it’s not even freaking out. Just crying.
Giving cats baths sucks (for them and for the bather) but unfortunately sometimes it’s necessary, and by the setup it looks like this was done at a professional groomer’s. Probably flea…

Sort of off topic: We had some lady who brought her teacup Yorkie “service dog” into the bar and was letting it run around and I was like, “Lady there is rat poison at like every bar, including this one. Your dog is about the size of a DC rat. It will die if it eats any. Keep it on your lap.” She was PISSED. I don’t…

rip bobbi kristina. you’re in heaven with momma now.

YEP. One of those just moved back into town last year after an ugly divorce. For months she pestered him with multiple versions of the following texts, I sh*t you not:

Exes don’t bother me. It’s the ones that didn’t get a chance with him whom we both find a li’l ornery. He had a lot of girl (space) friends back in the day who clearly crushed on him and still do. It seems when one is in a firmly committed relationship, what might have been is a far more alluring story than what once…

I also am convinced by a website, the FDA website that these chemicals in cosmetics present an insignificant risk.

I was one of those adoptable kids. I have every intention of being misguided/simply stupid when I’m ready to have kids because being adopted fucking sucked and I want children that are biologically related to me.

The venn diagram between people who say, “Just adopt” and people who don’t know the first fucking thing about adoption is pretty much a circle. I’d love to see them try it, except they probably shouldn’t be exposed to children.