Was anyone else one of those uber-sensitive kids who ascribed feelings to their toys and stuffed animals? I used to play with all of my toys on a rotation because I was afraid of hurting their feelings. I kind of did that with my clothes too - I would feel guilty if I didn't wear my red shirt for a while because I was…

As a seven year old, I raided the kitchen for my art supplies. I took some herbs, green food coloring, lemon juice, and turmeric powder to create this. My dad was so angry at me for destroying the kitchen and geting half the spice cabinet all over the floor, but he took this, and he framed it because he thought it was…

HER STOMACH LOOKS LIKE MINE!!!! HER THIGHS LOOK LIKE MINE!

There's nothing wrong with her body, that's how a 47 year old body looks, if you're lucky and have very, very good genes. Why people should continue the myth that beautiful = young I don't know. Because as a species our window of youth is relatively small, and we'll be old far longer than young. That's a long time to…

Remember folks, if you're gonna take a picture in the bathtub, the water better not be cold, because shrinkage is a thing.

My mom calls that Dickmatized I too suffered from it from mid teens until mid 20's. Oh to be 19 again…dumb as a bag of hair hornier than a bag of full grown mountain goats.

You just need to send the following emojis, in this exact order: bb gun, neck pillow, B&B, prison door, infinity sign, wedding cake.

My BF bought me a shovel because it's going to snow again this weekend. He knows I like to shovel and he bought me a smaller one to suit my size. Love...it comes in blizzards.

These comments man…are you fucking kidding me? NO ONE deserves this. It's pathetic that people think this is ok. Dissapointed.

So, this is a feminist website, and yet plenty of regular Jezebel commenters are mocking a clear case of sexual harrassment, just because it's happened to someone we don't like?

Ok, as a Mexican, I have to say, it looks disgusting but it's not bad tasting... It's basically mushrooms.

Thanks! I might be, though they'd be teaching you how to be a middle-aged woman at this point. Is that okay?

I, for one, hope we can launch some FRIENDships.

Another VIB Rouge here so you know I take this shit seriously. Let's talk about serums! I want to be a pond like Martha Stewart.

Pretty much. It's very . . . Orange is the New Black. In the sense that there's a presumption that we wouldn't give a shit about this situation if we weren't seeing it through the eyes of pretty blond girls.

Whoa... we got bigamy, leaking implants, counter lawsuits to end the marriage, and someone named Lolita?

I will only accept Benadryl Cabbagepatch's actual face up in my cheeks. Ain't nothin' like the real thing, baby.

have all y'all forgotten these?

Holy god, that was the most canned, rehearsed-sounding speech I've heard in a long while. The tone and cadence were pure Sally Struthers PSA. I kept expecting her to tell us that for just pennies a day, we could ensure that poor Iowa school children would have more than one pair of shoes.

Interestingly, Miranda contacted me again and said that the reason he was told there was no manager was that the actual managers WERE out of the restaurant, and since the server was new, she didn't realize that in cases such as that, the bartender can function as a de facto manager. So their server wasn't lying to…