"I believe in opportunity* for all** and I'm a republican***."

This is what Florida feels while it's watching Backdoor Boysluts 4.

"And swooping is bad"

This can only end well.

Kidnapping: non-consensual baby sitting

Non-consensual assisted suicide.

Also, guys, it's not murder, it's just intentional death inflicted on one person by another. NBD

On it!

SO PUFFY!

PET PIC PARTY!

"You didn't need those toes."

"Bring me the catnip and I shall delay barfing on your flip flops."

The Denver Post one doesn't seem all that racist to me. They probably made the pun in reference to escape velocity rather than escaped slaves.

Yeah, but he only joins in after the Second Coming.

Found the clip! End of this video:

She has a point. That's exactly how other entertainment industries works. The Seahawks all retired when they won the Super Bowl, Beyoncé will never make another album since she broke all those records, and tom hanks hasn't been in a movie since "Big."

"No Dana, the word we were looking for, in describing Fox News' fact-checking, was 'maladroit', mala-droit."

I wanted to punch that asshole in the face every time he smirked and said, "With all due respect, sir." KINDLY FUCK OFF, SIR.

You have NO idea.