When David Tracy offers to buy it.

the pilot probably attributed all the extra drag, and poor fuel economy to all the people riding on top of the airplane.

THE VAN HAS THE FIVE SPEED STICK OMGROFLCOPTER

CURRENT ODDS OF BREAKING DOWN SOMEWHERE IN ‘MURICA

Does anyone really need two phones?

“Remember that time a got a hit? That was awesome.”

HALP

Isn’t that graph traditionally drawn on a napkin?

The captain apologizes for his error and for not being able to read that book.

Easy. Just designate all the not ready planes as parts planes. The sooner you admit your project car isn't going to be finished, the sooner you can get rid of it on Craigslist and move on. No time wasters, I know what I've got.

What does being debt free win me in this pissing contest?

Well, see, corporations are people...but not when crimes have been committed!

I had a guy at a bar challenge me to a fight because I said that Sammy Hagar was terrible and ruined Van Halen. 

Most people can’t afford to retire yet alone a mid life crisis.

That damn sheriff is at it again!

This sounds like the classic finger-pointing exercise you’d expect from a company with an software development (or any IT function) mentality.

Drivers Offering Up Charitable Help Everywhere Reasonably Society

You’d go there even after the massacre? It’s such a dangerous place...

19 hours. Jeebus.