This is BY FAR my favorite....

Oblpigatory:

good luck repairing or replacing rhino lined brake lines, gas lines, or whatever other bolts or wiring harnesses were accidentally sprayed

All the same to me.

this.  teenagers are the #1 reason I don’t and won’t have kids.

Just say no...to kids.

If you haven’t already, check out printfriendly.com

I unfortunately don’t have any control over that backend stuff, but I can ask the tech people if there are any plans for that kind of thing.

It was definitely this man’s unlocky day.

I mean it’s a panel van. As far as panel vans go, there are ones that are much less van-like:

“Why can’t my dog sit just outside the restaurant patio?”

I’ve got an ‘06 Aero that I’ve been trying to sell for two years. And by “trying to sell”, I mean failing to put it up for sale, as I can’t bear to get rid of it quite yet.

Every time I think about Saab, I get a little choked up and misty-eyed. Beautiful gentle sons and daughters of Trollhättan, you were too good for this world.

Kids, I do believe that is the YMC-130H. The most badass C-130 ever.

Those tacky gold 360 rims need to go, yesterday.

This.

Eau de humanity

But a good way to get back on your feet is to miss two car payments.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

This is exactly how I got raped. I was hooking up with a friend of mine. I have vaginismus and a whole fun host of issues (and at the time, even a positive HIV test, which he knew about. It was a false positive, but he didn't know that at the time), I said no penetrative intercourse.