i thought you might go that route. :)

a guy with a new baby should be taking care of that child, no matter the state of his relationship with the mother, not chasing around with someone new. what a fuckwit.

what do you want to do after college?

I feel you and it sucks. Please remember you've got time! Early thirties is early.

It might be nice to remind your mom that while thanks to her amazing work and effort you and your brothers are conventionally recognized as more educated than she, you could not possibly have gotten as far or been considered a smartie at all, were it not for her smarts to start with.

Seriously. Does no one else remember the great Jelly Belly boycotts of the Reagan years?

Why not?

Exactly. And exactly why it's so frustrating.

It's also just a bit odd. Most kids applying to Ivies apply only to those they would want to attend, as the schools are very different in strengths, emphases, life styles, opportunities going forward and so forth. Someone interested in pursuing underwater basket weaving, for example, would only look to Brown, football…

I'm not actively fighting you — except your assumption that it's a cop out not to participate in one particular way. I've done plenty of work around similar issues in the international arena — both for individuals and (more satisfyingly for me) on a systemic level. I've done a lot of work on different legal and policy…

If folks don't have the time to participate on a case by case basis, that's not a cop out. Lots of folks are up to their ears just making ends meet or caring for their own kids (single mom here — trust). Nor is it a cop out to want bigger, more impactful change, or to chose to give at that level.

The magnitude of the issue isn't what's overwhelming. It's it's intractability. And unfortunately it seems that while responding on the smallest level may change some lives for the better, on a case by case basis, it's not addressing the core issues in the system. So we will continue to see cases like this, or worse,…

I'm in. And a suggestion of an education fund was made upthread.

If you have any suggestions for organizations that are doing good work to combat abuse, send 'em on. Because from what I've seen (and unfortunately experienced), the system — legal, social work, enforcement, all of it — is beyond overwhelmed and in many ways very broken but there are no coordinated, concerted efforts…

I mean specifically about this case. Letter writing? Donations to support these kids? Let's get something going.

Can we just hug them both? And tell them it is not their fault and they deserve better and they did the right thing and GET THEM OUT OF THAT SITUATION and into something better?? Because I'm sitting here holding my baby and crying because we know these poor kids are getting screwed so royally and are likely so scared…

I think you believe you are responding to someone else.

Where did I suggest that?

Further, to respond to your (victim/survivor blaming) question, "why doesn't she just move to another house", the answer is because it's not just "another house."

Was it your 11th grade English teacher, too? If so, we can leave the debate to them...!