DO NOT JINX BEST COUPLE. let’s whisper and look away. i don’t even want to startle them.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO MY LIFE AND PRE PACKAGED GROCERY STORE CARAMEL APPLES ARE ONE OF THE TOP HIGHLIGHTS OF FALL. REFRIGERATED CARAMEL COULD BREAK A JAW!

he could still get it.

we just called it “let’s not watch a movie together.”

in my own personal fanfic, miley responds to WHAT’S GOOD with “these hands, b” and they perform martial artistry on each other, putting kill bill to shame.

i have 2 old fashion police episodes, unwatched, on my dvr. i can’t bring myself to watch because i know once i do, joan will be gone for good. while they remain, i am still hopeful.

i love her so much. i wish we could be best friends. y’all know how INSANE it is she has kids by both dre and suge, right? i always get the impression she’s never had or accepted real love in her life.

steaks down pants is my favorite story of the day.

i stole the poster out of the purple rain album - literally opened the album, took it out, and shoved it in my purse - in the middle of a department store. i thought i was owed because i spent the same amount on the cassette and did not get a poster. I GET IT. (i was caught, btw, along with my 2 friends, the…

no aaliyah songs written by r. kelly, ESPECIALLY “age ain’t nuthin but a number”. no no no. but that lil louis is the hot fire. and any sex playlist MUST include minnie riperton’s “inside my love”. must.

I want to use a car service owned by YOU. I want to hire security run by YOU. I want to stay in a hotel owned by YOU.

needs to up her hip game.

how is holly madison NOT a southern baptist preacher’s wife?

you have the best name i’ve ever seen.

oh look (oh look http://jezebel.com/hes-a-hypocrit… )

yeah, i don’t think jen likes to rock the boat much. no blame, no shame. i recall a tweetisode wherein she praised kevin smith for his “if you love me, you love women” manifesto (ridiculous) after a bunch of his sewer rats gave a woman a raft of harassment for a mild critique. ANYHOO i replied to her tweet, saying i…

her tweet

just gonna go ahead and hate myself now.

(lol @ chuck mangione - i pulled that outta my ass)

“not someone you’d want to face on a dark street alone after 10 PM.”