It’s easy to knock meatballs into the yard. Ichiro’s hitting is tactical, designed to put the ball in play in the part of the field least likely to have three defenders in position to make a play.

How many hits would Pete Rose have had in his first 10 years if he only got to play 130 games per year?

I used to love hearing shithead M’s fans and scrub journeymen alike use this “Hit more homers, Ichiro” argument. Like he’s there just opting to hit slap single rather than taking cuts and putting it over the wall. If Greg Zaun’s scrub ass said this, that’s pure comedy. That’s a man who hit 88 homers and 446 RBI…

He’d still have the same number of hall of fame spots.

People, stop complaining that this is “too long.”

And PSG is paying Neymar the GDP of a small country to play for them because they aren’t as prestigious as Barcelona. What’s your point?

MLS is a shitty league that is shitty on purpose in an effort for the league’s wealthy owners to not have to expose themselves to risks or the large salary costs that are fundamental aspects of soccer at the highest level.

Yelling at Billy’s awful hot takes is my version of therapy.

Sweetheart, there are no other types of professional sports teams.

I was coming to say just this. DC United especially was hoping to coast into the new stadium and build a team from there but Fan pressure led them to drop serious coin for a team that is LOSING MONEY hand over fist. This article is stupid and biased in the extreme. I thought with a league old enough to drink we’d…

The fact that the idea of “maybe this is a sign of MLS actually getting better” never crosses his mind is legitimately concerning

Seriously, why would any American soccer fan not want MLS to sign better players year after year? It’s almost as if he wants the best leagues to stay 3000+ miles away and rarely (and for other people, almost never) get to go to a game.

Go easy on Billy. I’m sure he’s tired from constantly moving goalposts.

Meanwhile, Chicharito went from playing in the Champions League to join a club that’s mid table at best but not bad enough to seriously scrap for relegation (unless they totally shit the bed, which they did) so they can sell jerseys to Mexicans but not really contend for any hardware.

“MLS is bad because it’s structured to avoid financial collapse that befall clubs in Europe and isn’t designed to push power and wealth to the very top clubs.

“Testing themselves at Stoke City” is rather breathtaking in its obliviousness.

Did anyone make it through the word vomit to get to the author’s point?

“MLS sucks because all the players are bad”

Billy I think you’ve done it. You’ve finally written your worst piece on deadspin. You should be proud