Re: #2; have you considered lighting his computer on fire? Or him? Or yourself? Or everything? There are so many options with fire.

This is such a weird topic for me to read about... I’m currently in nursing school, and considering this area as a specialty.

Goddamn. Calling your governor out at a Starbucks is one thing, but this woman dares to give her email out in mother fucking YouTube comments. That is a bad bitch if there ever was one.

My little brother had one of those! We reckoned he got it while hanging out at his friend’s pig farm. It was only a foot or so long, though- nothing like your prizewinner.

I got those a couple times when I was a kid. Fortunately, my mother took me seriously when I complained about my itchy ass and medicated me quickly. It meant that when my kids both started complaining off itchy butts at the same time I knew what was up. However, at the time, I had 3 kids but only 2 were verbal enough…

Well, it could’ve been worse:

Perfect! Have you ever read Filth? I have a soft spot for tapeworms after that one.

Honestly I’m STILL convinced I have them sometimes. The second I feel the slightest twinge in my butt I’m like “WTF IS THAT NOT TODAY SATAN.”

I opened this stupid article thinking that nothing would be that bad, whatever, and then I came to this and I kind of want to cry?

Oh I am totally going to win this one. I had my uterus removed last summer after 20 years of horrible agony and monthly illness.

This is worse than the pumpkin seed story which won Jezebel’s grossout contest a few years ago, by several degrees of magnitude.

You should’ve seen me reading this, my eyes getting wider and wider, visibly and involuntarily cringing and recoiling over and over... And HOLY CRAP TAPEWORM all that suspense was not for nothing!

Considering that I accepted lactose intolerance was really a thing the day I simultaneously emptied my bowels in the toilet as I threw up in the tub ( it was the nearest container) , you’d think that was the grossest. Not by a long shot.

When I was a kid my mom thought I had these and had to take me to a doctor before we realized that we lived in a shitty apartment and a maggot from somewhere had fallen in my bed. I was so relieved! And grossed out! And then we moved into a nice house without maggots in it! Yay!

I tell you what she did do afterwards was fucking take me seriously when I said something was wrong from then on. She truly felt super awful. And to be fair, I was quite the hypochondriac as a kid and always, always thought I had stomach problems. So I get why she was kinda like “Okay kid, sure. You got poop worms.…

I had hookworms as a kid. Tiny, white, wiggly worms that live in your butthole. I saw one sticking out of my poop one day and told my mom, who thought I was just being paranoid and told me to ignore it. Flash forward a few weeks later and it feels like my ass is full of broken glass. I go to take a dump, thinking it…

Well this was gross and semi-impressive too. When I gave birth to my first I had to be induced. My labor wasn’t progressing like they wanted so the Dr came in to break my water. She told me that I might feel a little trickle and then there was an audible pop and my water sprayed out a good three feet from my body. The…

Before I had my first so many people would tell me “oh you’re just so happy to have the kid that you forget all the pain of childbirth and the gross body things that happen in aftermath.” Those people are full of shit. I have 3 kids and intimately remember the horror and misery that came with every single one of them.

staph infection