Wow.... this is the breast equivalent of “Are migrant detention centers concentration camps? Ya or nah?” debate. Utterly pointless and vapid. But it has identified all the creepers lurking in your comments section. Did he say “bind” or “reduce”? Who cares? Why are we even discussing this? The more important part is…

I’m a woman. Even with medium-sized boobs, the simple act of running can be painful. It makes no sense for Tifa’s big tits to be unrestrained and flopping all over the place while she’s doing martial arts and other athletic activities.

Had a thief in my office a few years back. Doesn’t matter how you marked your lunch, if there was something good in there, you had a half a chance of finding it missing. Even marking a bag “Medical specimen - Do not touch” didn’t help.

I think most people just buy the stuff in the bin at the store.  I’ve rarely seen any types or different varieties to choose from at a regular grocery store.

Every time she licked one of us, we immediately said, “no,” stopped whatever we were doing, moved away from her, and ignored her for at least 30 seconds.

The realization that you think boys are worth 1.9% more than girls will be a factor that leads your daughter to the pole. 

And they all congratulated you for giving the best blow job.

Agreed on the pets. My wife grew up with dogs. I did not. She wanted a dog after a couple years of marriage. I hesitated, but ultimately relented (who didn’t see that coming), but had two rules:

Not a dad yet but my father’s favorite, when my brother and I were fighting over some last piece of food:

You said a lot of things

not fair! At the end of 31 day months there are 2 odd days in a row.

It’s a lawless zone where social norms can touch you. I’d go as far as to say that the elusive pre-9am, pre-vacation beer is one of the more Elite Beers in existence.

“Finish with a generous squirt”

Tip for Jess:

I once got upgraded to first class on a 630 AM flight. I was so excited, free booze! Being that it was my first time in first class and it was the start of my vacation, I had to take advantage, regardless of the time of day.

I hope the discount was worth....

This probably isn’t even a question. But is there a worst decision than trying to sleep next to your kid?

“This probably isn’t even a question. But is there a worst decision than trying to sleep next to your kid?”
Obviously no. Sleeping with your child is the absolute worst and parents who can (or pretend they can) co-sleep are actually swamp monsters sent to infiltrate and try to ruin American parentage by making normal…

Bush evaded those shoes because he is fairly athletic old guy who’s got reflexes like a cat.

This probably isn’t even a question. But is there a worst decision than trying to sleep next to your kid? They are 2000 degree pinwheels that make odd noises and twitch nonstop while driving their tiny feet in to your sides.