I'm down for whatever, as long as I don't wake up to a flurry of twat mist in a forest of cock shafts.

"That's why a lot of people, myself included, called the enemy "savages.""

This girl seems like a pretty unbelievable catch.

How... many... goddamn... elipses... does... this... hack... use...?

Flushing tampons down the toilet is the real horror here. NOT SO SEXY WHEN YOU HAVE POOP WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A PLUMBER ON THE PHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CHRISTIAN, EH?

I disagree. They appear to be good at getting caught.

Also depends on when the NFL measured the ball pressure. Did they measure them right after they grabbed the balls while they were still cold? Did they let the balls warm up? Am I suddenly realizing the dreary state of life as I'm shouting into the void of Kinja about the need for accurate measurement?

When Bill Bellichick heard the news of this report earlier tonight, he promptly fired the team's equipment manager for failing to do his fucking job right by not under-inflating that 12th goddamned football.

Anybody else wondering how he had a ticket for the game?

Oh please. If someone handed me even $10,000 when I was 21 there was no way I would have managed it correctly. And probably the first thing I would have done would have asked my dad "What would be the smart thing to do with this?" I think that in Hockey and Baseball and to a lesser extent Football we tend to forget…

In her spare time, the chef from David's story enjoys Russian Roulette, eating glass, and arm-wrestling silverback gorillas during their mating season.

MPGs? Really?

Most white people think Jesus was white. Take from that what you will.

Tell us a story about all the hi-jinks he and his ragamuffin partner get into!

I just do this in my spare time, I don't really play games so it keeps me occupied. Also I do something similar to this IRL

Forget? The only reason I know the guy's name is because of his superb level of asshoundery.

I'd want to spray something on my hands to make them super conductive or super resistive (whatever this thing measures) and then take this test, and make that needle spin off the fucking charts, and then be all "I AM YOUR CHOSEN ONE AS THE PROPHECIES HAVE FORETOLD"

Oh, we're years past that.