Do none of you know what we the Arglyeans went through over the centuries to make that pattern? 

“Starbucks appears to be striving for a lukewarm medium”

I’m still waiting for my Star of David cups, Starbucks. How are Jewish people supposed to inform everyone else that we are Jewish and also drink coffee??

Many of the recent client-perspective questions have been incredibly entitled or inane.

I suggest that the only solution is to convene a panel of past question-writers for a future column, have them give advice to a similarly entitled question, and for the rest of us to marvel at how awful the world has become.

I’m struggling to remember the villain of Season 2

I spit-taked my coffee.

Dude, if I launched that submarine into space... it would totally fly like this. *Jetson’s car noises while moving the joint through the air*

“Nah, man. Nah. It’s like boring, not booooring. Like, digging a tunnel cuz that’s what we do. .....but I mean it is slow work though man, so like, I guess it is, like, pretty boring and shit, you know?”

This RN post was entirely not rude enough and I am furious that you went off-brand to actually connect with people on a personal level instead of dismissing them with a razor sharp one-liner. As a pillar of the Kinja comment section you should really think twice before making such compassionate posts.

“I was wrongly accused at my town’s best pizzeria.”

And if your cat -really- trusts you when you hold them like this, their spine disintegrates completely and they turn into kitty putty which is, frankly, magic.

It may be wise to understand that some unpopular opinions are best left un-shared.

PSA: There are some real assholes in the grays today. Please keep them there.

Frankly I miss the Weekly World News. If you’re going to just make shit up you might as well go big.

My mother and stepmother both donated their bodies for medical research. Their bodies were cremated after the research was done.

goes to stock music site, searches “something like pirates of the Caribbean”

I cringe at your apt metaphors.

hard to believe that no one bothered to thank woody harrelson for teaching folks that they can overcome a lack of verticality.